Birds

(I hate the fact that) nothing compares to you

still...

Birds

Cheesy as it may sound, I looked up and watched as the birds flew by, taking my weekend with them. I thought about how life really flies, passes you by like it aint a thing. Lol.

And then I thought about living.

I recently realized that I tend to live in the past and the future. It's kinda like my sweetest escape. I think about the good, fun and happy times of the past, and the bright and hopeful future.

Where is this coming from? Maybe it's cuz of my approaching birthday. I mean, it seems like only yesterday I turned 13 and excited to be a teenager and finally watch pg 13 movies. Lol! And now... 10 years later, I'm about to turn 23. February 2oth is my new year! And so I'm thinking about life and how I should be living.

The Past and the Future:

I think about the past a lot. And maybe its not such a bad thing because I always think of good times. I mean I have been keeping journals since I was 10 and I love reading back. My journals are so detailed that when I read back, I am there in that exact moment. I am 13 again and in love. Or I'm 18 and freaking out about college. I'm 20 and deciding that I want to be a designer instead of a doctor. It's kind of inspiring to read your goals and hopes for the future. Its motivating.

So... when I think about the past, I think of how I used to be, relationships I had, fun times and laughing. I think about the fears and worries I used to have and how much they really didn't matter in the long run.

Then I think about the future. I wonder how things will turn out, I have so much hope and faith that everything will be great (cuz it always works out in the end). I think about being the woman, sister, friend, daughter, significant other, worker that I want to be. When I think about the future, It's always bright, it's always good and its always promising...

So...

Maybe its not that bad thinking about the past and future. I mean, it really does affect the present. The past lets me know that the future will be ok and the future lets me know that my present sufferings/disappointments is nothing compared to my future glory. Maybe its my past and future that keeps me smiling all the time. It lets me enjoy the present. It lets me live! It lets me see things differently!

Yay!!!

But, of course, it is important to just live in the present. Just living in the now cuz the future isn't guaranteed. Because sometimes we hold ourselves back in the present afraid of what it might cause in the future.

I don't know, I don't have the answer. Maybe a balance of both. A little bit of just living in the present and a little bit of thinking about the future and past.

Or...

I should just live. Try my best to live right and do good and then the future will take care of itself. And my past proves that. My past proves that everything really does work out in the end

Wow....

That was a lot! Lol!